


Prejudiced

by StardewTales



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Animagus, Bullied Snape, Canon Compliant, Character growth?, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/M, Marauders, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Occasional POV Switch, Reader-Insert, Slytherin, and a smug sirius black, got that too hop in my dude, listen this is a loving sirius black household, reader actually has a personality, there are house elves, what more do you want
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-09
Updated: 2019-08-09
Packaged: 2020-08-13 12:23:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 20,748
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20174200
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StardewTales/pseuds/StardewTales
Summary: As a dutiful Slytherin, you’ve been handling snack duty for your house’s parties since the beginning of the year, and while you rarely ever cross paths with anyone late at night by the kitchens, one fateful night you’re reunited with the boy who set your robes on fire in the first year. Will an unlikely friendship grow out of the encounter or will your respective prejudices tear you apart? Will you grow to trust him enough to have him help with your journey towards becoming an animagus, or will you turn your back on him once you finally get a glimpse of the whole of Sirius Black?*This was first posted on my tumblr account, but since tumblr is unreliable and I don't want it to eat a story it took me two years to complete, I'm posting it here for safekeeping.





	1. Not So Bad For A Slytherin

“Thank you so much, take all the time you need,” you smiled to the house elf, having just told him what food you need.

You laid back against the wall behind you, the elf making its way back into the kitchen. There was a party in the Dungeon and people were getting hungry; you’d been tasked with getting snacks as you were one of the few people who could get their way around the kitchen. It wasn’t hard; all you had to do was be nice to the elves. You loved your house to death and would never have traded it, but sometimes you didn’t understand some of your housemates’ stances on a lot of things. You often blamed it on their upbringing; they were almost all purebloods. You were one yourself, but your mother wasn’t, and that had really had an impact on your education.

As you stood there waiting, practicing inoffensive charms that briefly lit up the air around your wand, you heard footsteps coming. Your first instinct was to hide your wand, but you relaxed seeing it was a student and not a teacher, or worse, Filch. 

“Oh, don’t stop for me love,” he said, the smirk actually audible in his voice as he stepped out of the shadows.

“What are you doing here?” you asked, rolling your eyes. “It’s past curfew.”

“I could ask you the same question,” he retorted, his confidence intact. “But I’m not looking for trouble,” he paused. “Yet.”

He turned his back to you to knock on the kitchen’s door.

“Open up guys, it’s me,” he said as he knocked.

You muffled a snicker when nothing happened. “You’re not doing the right knock,” you told him, trying not to sound _too_ condescending.

“I don’t need a secret knock, thank you very much,” he huffed, annoyed.

“Hey, I was just trying to help,” you replied.

The door didn’t open any further for a good two minutes.

“For the love of Merlin,” you groaned, before stepping up and knocking correctly on the door.

It opened almost immediately, and you were the one smirking as the small elf stepped out.

“The Gryffindor special,” he ordered, not looking at you. “Please,” he added, remembering his manners.

The house elf nodded, and went back in.

“You’re welcome,” you teased him as he made his way next to you.

He looked like he was going to give you a sarcastic reply, but something changed and instead he opted for a sincere yet grumpy “Thanks.” 

You raised an eyebrow, surprised.

“I’m Sirius by the way,” he added, extending his hand to you with a wicked spark in his eyes.

“I know who you are, Black, don’t worry,” you laughed.

“I see my reputation precedes me,” he smirked, satisfied.

“More like you and Potter set my robes on fire in the first year,” you told him, hoping to erase that smug look off his face.

“Wait, that was you? Wow, you’ve changed,” he blurted out, not trying to conceal the fact he was eyeing you for a brief moment. “Y/N, right?” he asked, looking back in your eyes.

“Glad to know you at least remember,” you laughed, ignoring the first part of his remark. 

You two made small talk, and you noticed he was getting flirty, but you’d heard this was apparently his default mode with girls.

“You know, you’re not so bad for a Slytherin,” he said, inching closer.

“And there it is,” you huffed exasperatedly, bringing your back completely against the wall. “It’s always only a matter of time with you Gryffindors.”

“It’s not what you think. I come from a family of Slytherins; I know what I’m talking about,” he replied, defensive. “They’re all the worst,” he added bitterly. 

You studied him for a few moments. “You know, my younger brother’s a Gryffindor,” you started. “And because of that whole rhetoric you guys have going on, he doesn’t feel comfortable telling people his sister is in Slytherin.”

This time, it was his turn to look at you, surprised by your words.

“The whole house thing is great, don’t get me wrong,” you added, staring ahead. “But people really blow it out of proportions, sometimes.”

The short silence that fell between you was interrupted by the kitchen door opening, two elves coming out with your and Sirius’s orders of snacks. You thanked them and were going to leave, when he called after you. 

“Your brother, what’s his name?” he asked you, which you had not expected.

“Y/B/N,” you answered, puzzled. “Why?”

“Was just curious,” he replied, shrugging it off. “Have fun,” he added with a smile, motioning towards the large quantity of snacks you were carrying.

“Thanks,” you smiled back. “You too!”

With that, you each went your separate ways. A faint smile tugged the corner of your lips as you thought to yourself that Sirius Black wasn’t as bad as his reputation let on. Admittedly, he wasn’t with his friends. You’d heard they called themselves the Marauders. Who even did that, name their groups of friends?

* * *

Later on, once he was back in the common room and the snacks were laid on a table, Sirius found Remus to ask him a question.

“Hey, do you know a kid named Y/B/N?” he asked him, looking around the common room.

“Yeah, he’s a first year I think,” Remus answered. “Over there. Why do you want to know, you want new friends?” he laughed.

“Piss off, Moony,” he grinned against his will, making his way towards the kid who was chatting with some other first years. “Hey, kid,” he called after him as he approached.

The young boy looked so stunned he was addressing him, Sirius had a hard time not laughing.

“Me?” the kid asked as his friends looked back and forth, wide-eyed. He was Sirius Black, after all.

“Yeah, you,” he said, trying not to mock him. “I know your sister. Y/N, right?”

The boy nodded, and Sirius was shocked to see in his face he was apprehensive. He probably thought he was going to call out that he was related to a Slytherin. _You and me both, buddy_, he thought.

“She’s cool,” he winked at him, before walking away, quite happy with himself, for some reason he didn’t want to think about too much.


	2. You Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Last night, you had a chat with Sirius while waiting to get snacks. Now, you’re cramming in the library for a defence against the dark arts exam you have coming up, but when you see the Marauders walk in, you just know it won’t be a quiet afternoon.

You loved weekends at Hogwarts. It felt like it became an entirely different place when no one was rushing to class or wearing their robes. It also became a lot more peaceful, because most students slept in late after the parties on Friday nights, or went to Hogsmeade. This time of the year was one of your favorites; not quite the holidays just yet, but you could see from the library’s windows that a light snow was falling. It would probably have melted by tomorrow, but it was nice.

There was a decent amount of other students in the library, but most were studying alone so it was almost perfectly quiet, apart from the chairs rattling, the pages turning and the inevitable whispers. You were there to revise theory for your defence against the dark arts class; it was one of your favourites. You’d gotten your best O.W.L. score on it when you’d passed them.

You’d been studying for about an hour and a half when the big door of the library opened, and the noise that came with it made you look up from your textbook. Sure enough, the Marauders had just walked in, James laughing loudly with Sirius, while Remus tried to get them to quiet down by swatting their arms. You didn’t know the fourth one’s name, but he seemed to be laughing along. The one you knew most was Remus, actually, as you had had a few classes together over the years, and he’d always acted friendly with you.

You did roll your eyes as you looked back down to your book, annoyed that they were probably going to disturb the peace in the library. Your instincts had been right; it had taken them a while to settle down, even with a warning from the librarian. You tried not paying attention to them, and at one point you got up to go looking for a book.

You were dragging your fingers against the books, trying to find the one you needed, when you heard footsteps coming your way. Turning around, you saw it was Sirius. You had to admit to yourself, he did look handsome in the faint light that managed to travel this far down the library, even though you were a little annoyed at him still for disturbing the library. Nonetheless, you smiled at him.

“Hey,” you said.

“You again?” he teased. “Are you following me or something?”

“Why, do you want me stop?” you replied, playing along.

“No, no, indulge all you want,” he offered, before semi-looking at the books. “I talked to your brother, by the way,” he added after a pause.

“Did you, now?” you raised an eyebrow, surprised.

“Told him you were cool so the kid would stop stressing,” he explained, still looking at the books. “I did it for him, not for you, just so we’re clear. I know what it’s like, is all.”

“Right, because of your brother Regulus?” you asked, and he ticked slightly. “I’ve seen him around, but I don’t think I’ve talked to him much,” you pondered aloud, before returning to your book search too.

There was a brief moment of silence before something he said registered in your mind.

“So you think I’m cool, uh?” you asked, repressing a smile.

“We had a nice chat, didn’t we?” he shrugged. “And, you helped me get that door open, even if I’m an obnoxious Gryffindor. So yeah, far as I’m concerned, you’re cool.”

“Well then, for what it’s worth, I think you’re cool too,” you smiled. “Thanks for talking to my brother, Sirius, you didn’t have to do that.”

“It’s nothing really, it’s literally all I told him,” he said, as if he was trying to convince you not to be thankful. “I can’t be seen having heartfelt talks with _first years_, of course,” he winked.

“Obviously,” you chuckled. “You have a reputation to uphold,” you added, your tone mockingly serious.

As you said those words, you finally found the book you came looking for. You grabbed it dusted it off, before turning to Sirius.

“Anyhow, thank you again. And please, for the love of Merlin, can you and your friends try to not be so obnoxiously disturbing?” you concluded, walking away before he could reply.

You did hear him snicker, though. It made you smile to yourself, as you chewed on the mandrake leaf in your mouth. It was a bad habit that would get you caught, but at your third time carrying it around in your mouth at all times for nearly a month, it was hard to get rid of the involuntary reflex.

Luckily, you only had three days to go before the next full moon, and the forecast so far was great. Three days before you could take the next step in becoming an animagus. You still had a long way to go, but you were confident. You’d read extensively on the subject, and you knew the challenges ahead. You were sure you were ready for this, you told yourself as you sat back down.

* * *

Sirius walked back to the Marauders’s table a calculated two minutes after you. He didn’t really need the book he had gotten; it was just his excuse to stop studying and follow you into the bookshelves. He had been bored out of his mind, and you’d caught his attention when you’d gotten up.

He hadn’t planned on telling you what he’d told your brother, since it wasn’t really a big deal, but when he’d gotten to you he’d kind of wanted to see your reaction. He had expected you to tell him that you didn’t need him all up in your business or something like that. He hadn’t thought you would be so openly thankful. It had made him see right away that your relationship with your brother was miles away from his relationship with his own brother.

Little did he know, as he reflected on all of this, his eyes had drifted in your direction.

“Earth to Sirius, wake up mate,” James called as he waved his hands in front of his face, trying to get him to snap out of it.

“Since when do you call me Sirius?” he asked, shaking the thoughts from his head.

“Since apparently you don’t answer to Padfoot anymore. Seriously, I’ve been calling your name for a good minute man,” James explained, bewildered.

“Hang on, were you staring at Y/N?” Remus asked, trying to find what Sirius had been gazing at, amused.

“Y/N?” James asked pensively. “Isn’t that the girl whose robes we accidentally lit on fire in the first year?”

“Yeah, that’s her,” Sirius nodded. “What do you know about her?” he asked Remus.

“I’ve had a couple classes with her,” Remys started, intrigued by Sirius’s questions. “She’s a good student; she beat me for the best Potions O.W.L.s score. But she was cool about it, never made a comment or anything.”

“Hm,” Sirius huffed pensively, this time knowingly glancing at you, which you didn’t see since he was at a table behind you.

“Pad, she’s a _Slytherin_,” Peter chipped in, emphasizing the last word like he couldn’t believe his friend was even paying attention to you.

“Yeah, so? She’s still nicer to look at than you, Peter,” he replied sharply, earning a laugh from Remus and James.

He didn’t add anything to the conversation, and went back to studying, indicating to the others it was over. They shrugged it off and went back to work too, and soon enough the conversation was already a thing of the past.


	3. For the Love of Merlin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You're in the owlery, about to send a letter to your parents, when Sirius and Remus arrive with a letter of their own they want to send James as a prank. Seeing you there, they get a better idea.

It had been a couple of days since you’d spoken to Sirius in the library. You’d seen him walking in the hallways between classes, and you’d smiled when he’d seen you too. Of course you still barely knew him, but you really didn’t understand why’d heard so many people complaining about him in the Dungeon. He’d been nice to you.

You were in the owlery, waiting for your brother to show up so you could send both of your letters to your parents at the same time. Of course, he was late, but you didn’t mind; you liked the owlery. Seeing all the owls go in and out, wings fluttering and feathers falling to the ground every now and then. You used to be sure your patronus would be an owl, actually. You were surprised when you realized it was not.

Another thing the owlery was, admittedly, was really damn cold at this time of the year. You pulled out your wand and waved it in a complicated but now familiar pattern, and a stream of hot air started pouring out of its tip, which you pointed over your other hand. 

Finally, steps climbed up the stairs, and you turned around expecting your brother to show himself, but it was rather Remus and Sirius that walked in, slightly startling you.

“Oh, hi Y/N,” Remus greeted you with a smile.

“Hey guys,” you waved, smiling back.

You sort of just stood there awkwardly as they tried to spot an owl in the lot of them, until Sirius turned around and looked at you with a questioning look.

“Uh, Y/N, why are you here?” he asked. “I mean, you do you, but surely there are less horrendously freezing places to be if you’re just passing time,” he teased.

“Yeah, I’m quite aware of that,” you laughed, slightly embarrassed that you kind of looked like a lunatic. “I’m waiting on my brother, we were supposed to send our letters to our parents together, since we share an owl. But I’m pretty sure he’s writing his letter right now because he forgot about it,” you explained.

“I didn’t know you had a brother,” Remus said, and Sirius gave you a knowing look.

“He’s younger,” you replied evasively.

Remus nodded, and something seemed to strike Sirius as he looked at you intently.

“Remus, I think I just got the best idea mate,” he said excitedly.

“What, better than this?” Remus replied, raising an eyebrow as she shook the envelope in his hand.

“Much better,” Sirius replied, before turning to you. “How would you feel about helping us prank Pr- I mean, James,” he suggested.

“Depends,” you answered, biting your lip. “What’s in it for me?”

“Getting back to him from when he set your robes on fire,” he suggested with a wicked grin.

“Sold,” you giggled. “Though that was on you too,” you added. “What do I have to do?”

Sirius and Remus explained to you that they had written a fake angry letter from his mother, and that they wanted to send it to him to watch him freakout. However, Sirius’s genius idea was that you read the letter to make it a howler, so that it would result in public humiliation.

“That would be hilarious, but he’ll know my voice isn’t his mother’s, no?” you asked after hearing him out.

“That’s not a problem, just try to sound like a posh mum and sound really mad, and everyone in the Great Hall will believe it’s his mother,” Remus proposed.

You tried not to scream too loud so that not everyone on Hogwarts grounds would hear you, and by the time you guys were done preparing the howler, they were laughing pretty hard.

“That was some fine acting,” Sirius propped you. “I can’t wait to see his face when he opens it.”

“Yeah, make sure you’re around for breakfast tomorrow,” Remus added as he gave the letter to his owl.

* * *

They left you not long after, you staying and insisting that you knew your brother and that he would arrive any minute now. As a matter of fact, they crossed him on the way down the stone steps, as he was practically running up, slowing down when he saw them and avoiding eye contact.

Remus’s head snapped up when he faintly heard your voice exclaiming “There you are!” shortly after. He realized that the boy Sirius had asked him about the other day was your brother, and how he’d looked at you in the library. He gazed at Sirius with wide eyes.

“Pad, _no_,” he emphasized right upon understanding.

“What?” Sirius eluded, though he knew exactly what Remus was thinking.

“Mate, I partner with her in Ancient Runes, please don’t do this with her,” Remus pleaded, knowing what happened when his friend took an interest in girls.

“You know, it’s really offending when you act like I want to get in every girl I talk to’s knickers,” Sirius mocked him.

“Do you fancy her?” Remus asked seriously.

“Of course I don’t fancy her Moony, I barely know the girl!” Sirius exclaimed.

“Then for the love of Merlin, please don’t do this. She’s a really decent person, Pad,” Remus implored him.

“Will you quit it already? I won’t ruin your rune buddy for you, okay?” Sirius sighed, exasperated. “But I’m not gonna start being rude to her because you’re a paranoid sod either, just so you know.”

“Alright,” Remus conceded. “Still, I’ll have my eye on you,” he added, in a joking tone this time.

“You’re the worst,” Sirius chuckled.


	4. Don't Flatter Yourself

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You’d forgotten about making the howler with Sirius and Remus, but you were reminded as the sound of your voice, slightly altered for anonymity, roared through the Great Hall at breakfast. Later on, you found out for yourself that hanging out with Sirius meant trouble.

Friday mornings in the Great Hall were the liveliest mornings of the week. Everyone seemed more awake, as if brought back from slumber by the mere thought of the weekend. You were chatting with friends about what snacks you should get for the night’s party in the Dungeon, when commotion around the Gryffindor table distracted you. Before you could see what was happening, you heard your voice roaring through the room, although you’d made sure to change it up just enough so people wouldn’t recognize it.

“JAMES POTTER! I AM YOUR MOTHER AND YOU WILL REPLY TO MY LETTERS. THIS WILL ABSOLUTELY NOT STAND, I DID NOT BRING YOU UP LIKE THIS,” the howler screamed.

Almost instantly, everyone in the hall stopped talking, snickering and openly laughing instead. James was facing you, and though there was distance, you saw his eyes grow wide, which made you bite your cheek in an attempt to stifle your laughter.

“I EXPECT YOUR CORRESPONDENCE PROMPTLY, OR YOU CAN KISS YOUR HOGSMEADE PERMISSION SLIP GOODBYE. AND DON’T BOTHER TRYING TO JUSTIFY YOUR DISRESPECT WITH QUIDDITCH PRACTICE,” the howler ended, tearing itself apart, the scarlet confetti bursting into flame.

“But that’s not even my mum’s voice!” James exclaimed, loud enough for it to reach the Slytherin table.

“Come on now mate, I know what your mum sounds like, and that was definitely her!” Sirius replied, also loud enough so that the most people would hear.

You saw James telling him something, but this time it wasn’t loud enough to reach you. You also saw Sirius clapping silently in your direction once your eyes met, making you grin and doing a little bow in your seat. Your friend noticed your gesture.

“What are you doing that for?” she asked curiously, looking around, trying to see who it was aimed at.

“Nothing,” you replied with a sly smile, which she knew all too well.

“Ugh, I hate when you do this,” she teased, shaking her head as she chuckled, referring to your habit of being evasive.

You winked at her, and went back to eating your breakfast, your amusement still very present in your smile.

* * *

At the end of the day, you found yourself walking back to the kitchens, exhausted from the week but a spring in your step at the prospect of a party. As you neared the kitchen, you were surprised to see someone was already waiting there. You knew other houses did this frequently, but you were usually alone there, since Ravenclaw fetched their snacks much earlier, and Hufflepuff and Gryffindor usually got theirs once their parties were already underway.

You smiled when you got near enough to see it was Sirius waiting there. 

“Couldn’t stay away, could you?” you teased him once you caught up.

“Please, don’t flatter yourself, Y/N, I simply drew the short straw two weeks in a row,” he huffed.

“Oh, I’m sure,” you replied, a wicked light in your eyes.

“You don’t believe me?” he scoffed, eyebrow raised.

“I mean, I’ve been in charge of snacks since the beginning of the year, and I can’t say I’ve ever ran into any Gryffindors until you last week,” you explained, failing at concealing your amused smile.

You didn’t let him argue his way out of it, and you went and knocked on the door, two brisk knocks and a third after a short pause. An elf opened the door, and you told him what you’d be needing tonight, before thanking him for preparing the food. He nodded with a smile, and went back to the kitchen. 

“You call that party food?” Sirius laughed as you turned away from the door to wait. 

“Some people actually have more refined tastes than cheese sticks and greasy pizza,” you replied with a serious face.

He looked at you, appalled, before replying.

“What the bloody hell is wrong with you people,” he muttered disbelievingly.

You laughed at his response, which made him frown.

“You actually believed that, wow,” you said, chuckling. “No, we do like that, don’t worry, we just get it later for round two,” you explained.

“You actually had me worried there,” he replied, shaking his head.

Then, the kitchen door opened, and the Gryffindor snacks were ready for him to pick up. 

“See you later for round two,” he winked, before walking away.

“Oh god, you really don’t want to see that,” you laughed, because you were usually a little less steady on your feet by the time round two of snacks came around.

“I think I do,” you heard him laugh, which had you shaking your head.

* * *

A few hours later, it was indeed time for round two. You were walking through the halls, trying to look inconspicuous while really you knew you weren’t as balanced as you usually were. You had to hide for a few minutes, at some point, to escape running into the ghost of the Grey Lady, who had a reputation of snitching on students who didn’t respect the curfew.

You were relieved when you made it to the kitchen without meeting anybody else. As you waited after having ordered some more food, you felt yourself sober up a little, when the quiet of the hallway was disturbed.

“Well, what have we here,” Sirius said just a little too loud as he came your way. 

“What are you doing here, Black?” you giggled. 

You’d been sobering up, but that didn’t mean you were back to being sober.

“I’m here to get more food, what do you think? If you guys need two rounds of snacks, just imagine how much we need!” he explained, still talking just a little bit too loud.

It looked like the Gryffindor party was doing well too, if his apparent tipsy-ness was anything to go by.

“Shhhhh, you’ll get us caught,” you giggled some more, drawing out the shushing involuntarily.

“Are you drunk?” he asked, incredulous.

“Probably,” you answered, unable to keep a straight face. “Told you you didn’t want to see round two,” you chuckled, your hair falling on your face slightly.

“I definitely didn’t see that coming,” he laughed at your imprecise gesture to tuck away your hair.

“Why?” you asked him genuinely.

“I… I don’t know, I really don’t know you all that much actually,” he frowned, unable to answer your question.

“Good answer,” you chuckled some more.

There was a silence, and you were stunned when you saw him leaning down to you. You burst into laughter when you understood what he was doing, his face inches away from yours.

“What are you doing?” you asked, unable to stop laughing, as you stepped back.

“Are you laughing at me because I just tried to kiss you?” he asked, visibly confused.

“Yes!” you replied, practically hysterical. “You just said you don’t know me, why would you even do that?”

He didn’t reply, a little too drunk to figure out an answer to your question quickly.

“I have no idea,” he admitted, starting to laugh himself. “I think I’m pretty pissed,” he added, his laughter increasing to match yours.

“Obviously!” you stated, nearing tears, really incapable to stop laughing.

You were both stuck in this drunken hysterical fit of laughter, when a familiar voice brought you right back down.

“Just what exactly do you two think you’re doing, out in the hallways past curfew?” McGonagall called out, stomping her way to the both of you.

“P-Professor,” you stuttered, before realizing you were unable to think of an answer that wouldn’t get your whole house into trouble.

By your side, Sirius was still chuckling silently, and you stared at him, eyes wide with shock. Didn’t he understand what situation you were in?

“Are you _inebriated_?” McGonagall asked, visibly growing mad.

“It’s my fault professor, I got Y/N into this, you know how I am,” he explained, and perhaps it would have helped a little more if he didn’t have a shit-eating grin plastered on his face.

“Yes, I know how you are, Black,” she replied, lips tight with annoyance. “I didn’t expect this from you, however,” she added, looking at you directly in the eyes.

You fought the very pressing urge to look down, mildly terrified.

“Twenty points will be taken from both your houses,” she said, “and I expect to see you both in detention tomorrow afternoon. Sober.”

“Yes professor,” you replied tamely.

“But tomorrow’s a Saturday!” Sirius protested, which made you want to kick his knee.

“Perhaps you should’ve thought about that before getting drunk on Hogwarts grounds past curfew, Mr. Black,” she scolded. “Now back to your dormitories, the two of you. You can be sure your parents will hear about this.”

You left almost immediately, not even daring to wave Sirius goodbye. This was bad. You had your own reputation to uphold, and being caught drunk with Sirius Black in the middle of the night wasn’t exactly going to maintain it. After doing this since the beginning of the year, you’d forgotten just how big the risk was. As you walked back to the Dungeon, you prayed silently you wouldn’t be the one getting a howler tomorrow morning.


	5. Force of Habit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After getting caught drunk and out of your dorms past curfew by McGonagall, you and Sirius have to face your resulting detention.

You felt quite glum as you walked to Professor McGonagall’s office after having just had lunch. You’d counted on having the afternoon free to just relax and have fun with some friends for once, as the week had been littered with exams, but no, thanks to your letting yourself be near Sirius Black while pretty much drunk you’d landed yourself in detention.

You’d sent an owl to your parents before breakfast, hoping they would receive it before acting on the letter McGonagall had undoubtedly already sent their way. You knew they would be furious, but perhaps you could convince them not to send a howler.

You felt dread wash over yourself as you knocked on your Transfiguration professor’s office’s door. A few seconds passed before you heard the familiar voice invite you in.

“Ah, Miss Y/N, you’re here, good,” she welcomed you as you stepped inside, before pausing to let a frown take over her otherwise neutral face. “And just where would Mr. Black be?” she asked you expectantly.

The assumption in her voice that you would know where he was took you off guard.

“I wouldn’t know, Professor,” you answered, slightly confused. 

“Really?” she raised an eyebrow, setting the quill she was using to grade essays aside. “Your proximity last night would have indicated otherwise,” she commented, her eyes deadpan.

“If I may, Professor,” you started, waiting for her to grant you permission to continue.

She nodded at you, her face not betraying any sign of emotion.

“The only reason why we acted somewhat close was because we were inebriated,” you added, careful not to sound arrogant or defensive. “Which was a mistake, of course,” you quickly added.

For a split-second, you could have sworn you saw her lips press together in amusement, but before you could be sure, the door behind you opened with a loud crack, a cocky boy walking in confidently behind you.

“Sorry I’m late,” he excused himself, walking up to a table and sitting on its corner as he looked at McGonagall defiantly.

“You’re two minutes early, Black,” she replied calmly, getting up to walk up to the two of you.

“Really?” he asked, genuinely surprised. “Sorry then, force of habit,” he grinned. “Must be Remus’s good influence you were hoping would rub off on me finally working, Professor.”

You couldn’t help but roll your eyes at his insolence. He seemed to take for granted he couldn’t be in any deeper trouble, but you weren’t about to let him make this detention last an extra hour.

“What do you need us to do today, Professor?” you asked, hoping to move the conversation forward before some other useless wisecrack would find its way out of his mouth.

McGonagall took a few extra seconds to stare at Sirius, before moving her gaze to you.

“The restricted section of the Library is due for some reorganizing,” she started. “Now I expected to give more detentions this week, but since apparently examinations keep students in line, it will only be up to the two of you to take up the task. You will be done only once you’ve gone through the whole section, and should need be, you will come back tomorrow to finish your work,” she explained, as you felt your eyes widen with the prospect of the many hours you’d have to spend on this detention.

“Do you really trust me to be in the restricted section Professor?” Sirius asked, his arrogance mixed with incredulity.

“No,” she answered abruptly. “But the Headmaster insisted this matter be taken care of as soon as possible, so I fear I have no choice,” she explained somewhat regretfully. “Off you go now, you have no time to waste.”

You walked back to the door, trying not to think too much about the amount of work ahead. Just as you were going to open the door, Sirius on your heels, McGonagall remembered an additional detail.

“Oh, and of course you mustn’t use magic for this task,” she specified. “Some of these books... wouldn’t respond well,” she added, and this time around, you were pretty certain she found the concept quite amusing.

* * *

So there you were, in the library, stored away in the restricted section with a very whiny Sirius. Luckily his complaining couldn’t qualify as disruptive as there was absolutely no one in the library; the exam week was just over with, and people were taking well-earned breaks. Which made you all the more miserable.

“I mean, what’s even the point of having a restricted section, really?” he wondered aloud for the hundredth time, irritated as he lifted a heavy pile of old books.

“Why don’t you ask that question just one more time, mate? Maybe if you try again one of these books will speak up and answer,” you replied bitterly.

You’d been hard at work for nearly two hours now, and you weren’t even halfway through. Things hadn’t been so bad at the very start, the two of you even joking around a bit, but the cheerfulness has vanished into thin air as time had passed since. 

“Merlin, Y/N, you’re such a buzzkill,” he scowled, still moving books around. “I can’t believe I actually tried to kiss you last night,” he groaned.

You stopped working at his words, chuckling at the memory.

“So you do remember, then,” you stated, humor in your tone.

“Love, I make a point of staying sober enough to remember which girls I drunkenly kiss,” he replied, smirking. “It’s my one rule.”

“_Attempt_ to drunkenly kiss,” you corrected him, observing a random book.

“Formalities,” he discarded your comment without a care.

But you weren’t even listening to him anymore; the book you’d picked up had caught your attention. Opening it to the table of contents, you swiftly flipped the pages to the section of your interest. 

Noticing you weren’t working anymore, Sirius walked up to see what you were doing.

“Oi, snake girl, McGonagall didn’t send us here to start a book club,” he mocked, before seeing what book you were reading from. “Hey, I know that book,” he thought aloud.

“Snake girl?” you scoffed. “C’mon, you and I both know you can come up with better,” you shook your head. “Besides, how could you possibly know that book?”

“I can read, thank you very much,” he rolled his eyes.

“I know you can read, you git,” you also rolled your eyes. “But this book is from the restricted section,” you motioned to your surroundings.

“Moony must’ve stolen it at some point,” he shrugged, peering over your shoulder to try and see what passage you were reading.

“Hold on, isn’t Remus the one you call Moony?” you asked, confused.

He nodded in confirmation. “He’s just as naughty as the rest of us are,” he answered in a falsely secretive voice, putting unnecessary emphasis on the word ‘naughty’. “Lad’s just to smart to get caught,” he further explained, laughing, before grabbing the book from your hands, frowning.

“Hope I’m not being inconvenient!” you told him, offended. “Give it back, Black,” you urged him, reaching for the book, but he simply moved out of reach, examining the page it was open to.

“What do you care about animagi?” he asked, frowning as he looked up to look you in the eyes.

“None of your bloody business, that’s for sure,” you snapped, stealing the book from his hands, before putting it away at the appropriate place. “Let’s just get back to work, okay?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you're wondering yes the buzzkill line is an avpm reference wassup


	6. Like Hell You Won't

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After being caught drunk, talking too loud near the kitchens at night by McGonagall, you and Sirius have to face detention by re-ordering the restricted section all by yourselves. One book in particular has caught your attention...

You’d been working in the back of the library for hours now. Because a long week of exams had just ended, and it was a Saturday, you two were the only people in the library, except for the librarian who was nowhere nearby. 

You glanced past the windows apprehensively, noticing it was nearly sundown. You had to find a way to get Sirius out of there, if only for a minute. 

“Ugh, I’m starving,” you moaned, getting back to work. “They’re probably already starting to eat in the hall.”

Sirius didn’t reply, but he did give you a look as he lifted a pile of books to reorder them. 

“What?” you asked him, uneasy.

“If you have something to say, no need to take the long way to get to the point,” he noted, starting to stack the volumes back on a shelf. 

You flushed at his words, slightly embarrassed he’d seen right through you so easily. You bit your lip, before trying something for real.

“Perhaps one of us ought to go grab something to snack on, otherwise we’ll be skipping dinner entirely,” you suggested.

He huffed, amused.

“I don’t remember you being one to shy away from taking advantage of the kitchen in the middle of the night,” he teased.

“Yes, well, I’m not exactly looking to catch another detention before this one is even over,” you counter-argued, trying to sound as nonchalant as possible.

He considered your point, before shrugging, agreeing.

“I wouldn’t mind taking a pause from all this, though I can’t guarantee I won’t get distracted on the way,” he offered with a wink.

“As long as you do come back with food, I won’t hold it against you,” you replied, reaching for a book on a high shelf.

“I’ll be on my way then,” he nodded, placing the last book of his pile before walking away.

You waited for the sound of his footsteps to grow distant before taking a deep breath, glancing back to the window. The sun was almost done setting. You sighed in relief; really, this should teach you not to get in trouble. 

You grabbed your wand which you’d left aside, and took a firm stand, elevating the tip of your wand to your heart.

“_Amato Animo Animato Animagus_,” you recited, in a low but clear voice. 

You took another deep breath right afterwards, relieved you’d gotten it done. You were so close to the end, you would’ve been crushed to have to start over again because you’d been careless enough to land in detention. 

You went back to work, but froze when you heard the familiar voice speak up.

“I knew you were up to something,” Sirius gloated, stepping back into the restricted section.

You turned around to face him, feeling like a deer caught in the headlights.

“But you... you left,” you stuttered, going into full-on panic mode.

“I did,” he agreed. “But I came back right after,” he winked, enjoying being the one with all the power. “Want to become an animagus, then, ugh? Quite the ambitious girl, aren’t you,” he teased.

Your mind searched frantically for a way out, but in the heat of the moment you couldn’t come up with anything.

“Why would you care, Black? Even if I did, you couldn’t do much about it. Besides, you’re far from perfect but I’m pretty sure you’d rather die than be the one to blab on someone,” you confronted him, mustering all the confidence you could.

“Oh, I could do more than you think,” he chuckled to himself. “Who else knows?” he asked you, genuinely interested.

You frowned at the question. Where was he going with this?

“No one else knows, of course,” you replied, incredulous.

“What?” he gasped, shocked. “Let me get this right, you’re planning on getting through this whole process _alone_?”

“I mean I got this far alone, and if I’m going to be unregistered, it might not be the smartest thing to tell the whole school about it,” you defended yourself.

He took a moment to stare at you, his eyes seeming to wonder wether you were mad or insane.

“Aren’t you supposed to be smart? You can’t go through your first transformation alone, especially at your age!” he almost screamed. 

“Why are you so upset? And since when are you Hogwart’s resident expert on animagi?” you reacted, offended by how belittling he was being. 

The two of you were now screaming in hushed voices, a weird combination meant not to attract the attention of the librarian. He didn’t reply right away, running his hand through his hair as he paced back and forth. From your perspective, it felt like there was something he wasn’t telling you. Finally, he reached a stop and looked back at you.

“Listen, I won’t tell on you, but you have to swear not to repeat to anyone what I’m going to tell you next,” he said, agitated.

“I can’t swear without knowing what it is,” you replied.

“Then I’ll tell McGonagall about your little plan and you’ll never get to go through with it, in addition to facing detention for the rest of the year,” he threatened, but his voice wasn’t menacing as he knew he had the upper hand.

You sighed, annoyed that you had nothing over him. You really didn’t have a choice.

“Fine, I swear I won’t tell,” you gave in. “Please just tell me you don’t have a dead body buried under the quidditch pitch or something.”

He looked right into your eyes for a moment, before stating the truth point-blank.

“I’m an animagus.”

Had you been drinking something, you would’ve spat it right out.

“You? And how am I supposed to believe you?” you asked disbelievingly.

“Well I can’t just transform into a dog right now to prove you, so I guess you’re gonna have to take my word for it,” he answered, slightly ticked off.

“Your animagus form is a dog?” you scoffed.

“Why do you think the lads call me Padfoot all the time,” he explained. “And why exactly are you amused by this?”

“I mean, I would’ve taken you for something a little more... exotic. You’re Sirius Black, after all,” you teased, holding in a chuckle.

He brought his hand to his forehead, sighing like he was exhausted already.

“Really? That’s all you have to say about this?” 

You couldn’t in your nervous laughter anymore, and you had to take a second to compose yourself.

“Brilliant, just brilliant,” you breathed in. “Why are you telling me this?”

“So that maybe this way you’ll listen to me. You can’t turn all by yourself the first time, I won’t let you,” he told you firmly.

“Like hell you won’t,” you frowned. “I’m perfectly capable of handling myself, thank you very much,” you blew him off.

But he wasn’t having it. Stepping closer, he grabbed your arm to get you to really listen.

“It’s disorientating. It’s borderline scary. And it hurts. Trust me, even if you think you could do it alone, you don’t want to,” he told you, eyes boring right into yours as he enunciated every word very clearly. 

You swallowed gravely as he let go of your arm. You knew the first transformation wasn’t going to be a walk in the park, but somehow he’d just made it a lot more concrete.

“Okay,” you nodded. “I’ll trust you. Are you offering me your help, then?” you asked, your confidence a little shaken.

“I’d be glad to help you, yes,” he confirmed, his shoulders relaxing. “I’m sure the lads wouldn’t mind being there too,” he added, but you quicky shook your head.

“No. I don’t want an audience,” you quickly dismissed the idea. “Only you.”

He nodded, the shadow of a smile passing on his lips.

“Fine then. You must be waiting for the next storm, right? Where have you hidden your potion?” he asked.

“In a hollow brick of the owlery tower. No one goes up there during storms, and the owls all fly out to the forest,” you told him.

“Smart move, actually,” he approved. “I’ll meet you there next thunderstorm then,” he added, and it felt very formal for some reason.

By the way he said it, you had no doubt he’d show up.

“It’s a date,” you joked, and he chuckled a little. “Now if you’d please go and get us our snacks, I really am hungry,” you ordered playfully.

“Right,” he remembered, smiling, before starting to walk away.

You let him take a few steps, before caution urged you to call after him.

“Oh, and Sirius!” you called out, getting him to turn around, eyebrow raised. “Don’t tell anyone about our little... arrangement.”

“My lips are sealed,” he assured you, before leaving for good.

As he left, you felt like a weight had been lifted off your shoulders. You hadn’t planned on letting anyone know about this, but perhaps adapting was going to be the one thing that would make this possible. 

You weren’t a hundred percent sure you could trust Sirius Black yet, but he really hadn’t left you a choice.


	7. Any Last Words?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thunderstorms have been shying away from Hogwarts, and both Sirius and you are growing restless awaiting one for you first transformation.

Two weeks had gone by since your detention, and not a single thunderstorm had yet occurred. Every day saw you grow more anxious, but also more eager as you were becoming quite fed up with waking up everyday early enough to recite the incantation at sunrise, as well as sundown. 

As Friday of that week had rolled around, you’d chosen to let go a little for the night. You’d become jumpy and stressed out, and you knew maintaining such a state would do no good to your first prospective transformation. Word had gotten around the dungeon that there would be a party that night, and you were more than ready for it. 

As per usual, you’d volunteered to go get some snacks, so you were now waiting by the kitchens, like so many times before. A big period of exams had passed since the last party thrown in the Slytherin common room, so it had been a while since you’d been in that position. 

As you waited, back to the wall, flicking your wand and mouthing spells, a now familiar voice startled you.

“Well, doesn’t this feel familiar,” Sirius said as he approached, a mocking smile on his lips. 

“Aren’t we just going back full circle,” you smiled, quite amused.

He halted next to you, shaking his head with a huff.

“Thunderstorms have been scarce, haven’t they?” he said as if it was just simple weather small talk.

“Tell me about it,” you rolled your eyes. “I swear if one doesn’t happen soon I’ll lose my sanity!”

“Yeah, been there,” he chuckled with empathy. “So, what’s the secret knock tonight?” he asked, pointing towards the kitchen service door.

“Here, I’ll just do it,” you said, walking towards the door.

You knocked thrice gently, waited three seconds, and banged once more with more conviction. The door creaked open, revealing a grumpy house elf who looked at you annoyedly. Before he could ask you what more you wanted, however, Sirius stepped in and passed his own order.

You two chatted some more, but your snacks were soon ready and so you left him on a teasing quip about his hair, which was particularly messy that day. 

As you walked back to the dungeon, you passed the courtyard and noticed how the wind had picked up since you’d been outside at lunch. It had been a particularly hot day, a little humid, and you had expected it would start raining during the night. However, you paused to take a good look outside, beginning to doubt that you might have had underestimated the disruption in the air pressure. 

Frowning without being aware of it, you walked back to the dungeon, concerned. If the storm came that night, you couldn’t spend the night underground in the common room, or you’d never notice. 

On your way back, you decided on the course of action; you’d sneak out of the party every hour or so and check if a thunderstorm had erupted. It wouldn’t provide much of the carefree enjoyment you’d counted on, but you couldn’t really do anything else about it unless you wanted months of work down the drain.

* * *

It was the third time that night that you’d snuck out without notifying anyone. You’d stayed away from the firewhiskey, so you were quite clear-headed as you closed the door behind you. As you did so, someone called your name from further down the hallway, startling you. Turning towards them, you recognized who it was.

“Severus, what are you doing out there?” you asked him, tense. 

He was approaching, carrying books and parchment. He looked as if he were coming back from the library, from what you could tell.

“I wasn’t really in the mood for a party,” he replied, and while you felt there was a precise reason why, you didn’t press him on it.

You nodded, stepping away from the door.

He was usually there during the parties, mostly lurking, or the early periods of them at least, but you’d rarely seen him look like he was truly enjoying himself. 

“Where are you headed?” he asked, having reached you.

“Oh, uhm, I think I dropped a broach earlier getting the snacks, but I’ve only just noticed, so I’m going to try looking for it before it’s too late,” you lied, uncomfortable.

“I hope for your sake Peeves hasn’t gotten to it first,” he replied.

“Yeah, hopefully,” you huffed.

The exchange felt awkward. You weren’t particularly close to him, but you weren’t on bad terms with him either. You usually didn’t mind chatting with him when you crossed him in the common room, but right then, you had places to be. 

Looking like he’d noticed your tension, he nodded imperceptibly, before reaching for the door.

“Well then, see you around,” he said with a polite smile.

“Have fun in there,” you smiled back before heading off.

You walked fast, practically running up the stairs when you got to them. The stairway opened up to one of the hallways around the courtyard, and right away the wind blew your hair off your shoulders. Slightly panting, you walked towards the outdoors, listening intently. It wasn’t raining yet. By now you were pretty sure there would be a storm tonight, but the way you saw it, there was no use hanging out alone in the owlery, waiting for the storm to actually begin.

As you were turning on your heels, you heard it. It sounded far away, but the low rumble was unmistakeable. You froze as the echoes of the thunder rippled through your heart.

“Oh Merlin,” you whispered to yourself, suddenly terrified. So this was it. You were turning into an animagus tonight. No big deal.

As your mind rushed, you made your way to the owlery tower mechanically, barely aware of your surroundings. You tried to stay calm by reviewing the steps in your head, but there was hardly anything left to do. And so you proceeded by freaking out. How could you be sure the vial had been undisturbed this whole time? What if the silver teaspoon you’d used to collect the dew was imperfect and didn’t collect the right amount? What if you hadn’t noticed something go wrong and you wound up completely screwed up? 

By the time you were done climbing the outside stairs, your mind had been so busy you hadn’t noticed that the first few drops of rain had hit you. 

“There you are! Thought you were about to miss your own transformation,” Sirius scoffed as you stepped in.

You jumped slightly, having not expected for him to be there already.

“How long have you been waiting here?” you asked.

“Nearly too bloody long,” he groaned.

“I’m really sorry, I couldn’t see the storm picking up in the dungeon,” you apologized, contrite.

“’S fine, hasn’t been long enough for me to actually be mad. Shall we do this? Any last words?” he smirked, and your stomach flipped from the nerves.

“I’ll throw up before the end of this,” you mumbled as you headed for the hollow brick around the opening in which you’d stashed the vial.

“Delightful,” he commented.

“Here, hold this.”

You handed him the opaque vial, taking your wand out of your pocket. 

“Okay,” you breathed shakily. “Let’s do this,” you raised your wand.

“Merlin, we’re skipping the foreplay and going right to it, I see,” he said, having not expected you’d get on with it so fast. “Just take it one step at a time, it’ll help if you’re not overthinking and if you feel confident,” he advised.

“Right. Confident,” you nodded.

You placed the tip of your wand over your heart and recited the incantation one final time, “_Amato Animo Animato Animagus.”_

“Everything fine so far,” Sirius quipped in right after, handing you the vial back.

As you took it from him, you couldn’t help but notice his usual carelessness seemed shaken. Why was he nervous? He’d already gone through this. You decided to ignore that for the time being, and stared at the vial in your hand, taking a long, deep breath, trying not to think about the fact you were about to drink in a chewed-up mandrake leaf, your own hair, and the chrysalis of a dead moth.

“Try to down it with one swig,” Sirius told you. “You won’t want to take another sip, Peter could tell you that,” he cautioned.

You grimaced, and started pulling on the cap.

“Oh, and, don’t smell it either,” he added, apprehensive.

“Got it,” you nodded, and with one quick motion, you opened the vial and downed its content in the span of a few seconds.

The taste and texture were so bad you had to fight back throwing it up, which induced a coughing fit.

“What now?” you panted, catching your breath.

“I really wish I could tell you the worst is over,” he suppressed a grin, slightly amused. “Just wait, it can take either seconds or a few minutes. I’d tell you to brace yourself, but there’s no point really,” he added.

You took in what he said, beginning to freak out a bit. Your hands started fidgeting, and air was feeling scarce.

Realizing he maybe should’ve been more reassuring, Sirius walked up to you hand grabbed your arms.

“Hey, look at me, it’s going to be fine okay,” he tried calming you down, staring into your eyes. “You’ve done everything right, now the only thing left to do is believing in yourself. You’ve got this, alright?” he urged.

You nodded and opened your mouth to agree, but the only sound you could make was a violent scream, which luckily got drowned out by a loud thunder strike.

Pain started shooting through your whole body, and you backed away from Sirius, who had let go, tripping over your feet and falling to the ground, feeling powerless.

“Okay, okay, it’s starting,” Sirius nearly squealed. “Listen this probably hurts like a bitch right now but you have to stay strong and power through alright, it’ll be much better once you’ve completely transformed but for that to be quick you have to let it happen, right?”

You barely heard him, your mind completely blanked out by the fact that you felt like your bones were trying to leave your body. The initial pain had been the most painful, but the feeling was so foreign it was horrifying to bear. You didn’t quite realizing it, but you were emitting loud winces in between gasping for air.

“Just let go, Y/N,” his voice pierced through your agony.

And you did. iIt was either because of him, or because you had no strength left, but you let go completely, eyes closed.

The transformation occurred in a matter of seconds.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Care to guess what the animagus form will be? ;)


	8. Is That Our Thing Now?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Having Sirius there for your transformation ends up bringing the two of you closer. But how much closer will you get?

Watching you transform felt bizarre to Sirius. He’d always felt more at ease seeing James transform than Peter because somehow, someone growing into a larger form was easier to process than the shrinking. Fortunately for him, you shrank quickly, and your new form wound up trapped in the fabric of the dress you’d been wearing.

_Shit_, he thought. He’d forgotten to tell you about how even though it’s pretty easy to transform your clothes along with you, it just doesn’t happen during the first transformation. 

“That’s going to be awkward when you turn back,” he thought out loud.

He was watching you, or rather, your animagus version, try to scuffle out of the trappings of the dress, feeling you’d rather try on your own before he intervened, even though he was extremely curious as to what you’d transformed into, the shape currently indiscernible.

Indiscernible, that is, until you stepped out of the hem, a white stumbling flutter of feathers. Sirius whistled jokingly, watching you trying to figure out this whole new body thing.

“_Nice_. A barn owl, uh?” Sirius said, trying to sound laid-back despite being terribly excited by your successful transformation. “Ooh, do you think you can do that freaky neck twisting thing?” he asked, eyes wide.

You couldn’t answer him, but your glare back at him was pretty straightforward. And, coming from an owl on the ground, comical enough.

“Now love, no need to get mad. It all went perfectly well, didn’t it?” he smirked. 

Thankfully, Sirius had gotten used to talking to his mates in their animagus forms, so talking to you while you couldn’t answer wasn’t awkward. In fact, he’d always liked being able to tease someone and watch the look in the eyes of their animal forms, that one look that meant “you’re enjoying this, aren’t you.”

Seeing that you seemed to have gotten the hang of walking around on these tiny claws, he decided to prompt you to take things further. 

“I say it’s time you try these wings of yours,” he taunted, crouching down. 

He could tell his teasing was working, because almost instantly you spread out your wings, flapping them clumsily, but not taking off. 

“Here, I think you need to be free falling for the instincts to kick in,” he said, extending an arm as he approached, which you instantly rejected by fluttering your wings in his face. Needless to say, the gesture felt to him like he’d just been flicked on the forehead.

“That,” he muttered, eyes closed, “was unnecessary.”

He opened his eyes to see you managing to fly up to the window, which really was just an opening in the wall. Seeing you perched up there, he could tell you were gaging the distance to the ground.

“Come on now, what’s a little risk like this compared to all you had to do to get there?” he told you, referring to the months of sneaking around you’d dealt with in order to transform.

Now, Sirius Black was no expert in owl body language, but he could’ve sworn you’d nodded. He kept on observing curiously, patiently waiting as you seemed to almost go in two or three times, but backing out at the last second. As he was debating whether he should scare you to make you jump from the windowsill, you took the leap yourself, and he felt his stomach drop.

Running to the window, he searched the darkness below, trying to spot if you’d made it. Even though the storm had quickly softened, he was suddenly filled with dread.

“Come on, come on...” he murmured expectantly, still scrutinizing the void below. 

All of a sudden, you came blazing past him from below, inches away from his head. Shocked but tremendously relieved, he let his head fall between his elbows, loosening the tight grip he’d had on the bricks, chuckling. Quickly, he took a step back to give you some space to get back inside the tower.

It took you a minute, but you found your way back. However, the landing was something you’d have to work on; you completely passed the windowsill and landed abruptly on the stones of the floor, sending stray hay flying in the scuffle, which earned you an earnest laugh from Sirius.

He was still grinning as you tried to get as much dust off yourself as possible, before flying off to the hollow brick in which you’d stashed the vial, which laid on the ground next to the wall. 

He looked at you do so intently, curious as to what exactly you were aiming to do. He rolled his eyes when he saw what else had been hidden in the hollow brick. More or less gracefully, you picked up a sleeping mask by its elastic and pulled it out of there only to drop it at Sirius’s feet, sending him a look that left no doubt to the purpose of the mask.

“That,” he began, crouching to take the mask, “really is no fun at all,” he smirked. “I can’t believe you actually planned this, you control freak,” he commented, putting on the mask. “There, now you can go about your _business_.”

Facing the wall, mask on, Sirius was now waiting for you to transform back. You hadn’t kept your owl form for that long, but it was recommended for new animagi to ease into their animal form on shorter intervals of time at first. As he was desperately trying to think of anything but your naked body upon transforming back, he heard the faint sound of the reversed transformation only a trained ear would identify. 

“Are you back in your skin and bones?” he called out, his voice impish.

“_Please_ keep the mask on,” you begged, but he could hear the giddy smile in your voice, which made him chuckle.

“Honestly, after all I’ve done for you here, you’d think I’d be entitled to a little thank you gift,” he joked to make sure the atmosphere remained light.

“Shut up, you git,” you laughed. “Alright, you can take the mask off.”

He did so gladly, turning around to face you. While he was keeping his mind from wandering in a certain direction, he’d remembered a little prank he didn’t get to do too often.

You were pulling at the hem of the dress you’d just put back on, and he was staring eyes wide at you.

“What?” you asked, perplexed. “What is it?” you asked, nervous, reaching for you cheek.

“Alright, don’t freak out, I’m sure it can be fixed,” he began cautiously.

Your eyes grew wide in panic for a split second, before transforming into a death glare.

“I hate you so much,” you told him, but couldn’t keep a straight face and started chuckling. 

“Damnit,” he laughed. “I really thought I could get you, with Peter he believed it for a full ten minutes, it was glorious.”

“You’re the worst friend, Sirius,” you scolded him, giggling. 

“Ah, now, enough about me,” he brushed it off as if it had been a compliment. “How was it?” he asked you.

He saw something shift in your eyes, like they actually twinkled for a second.

“It was everything,” you said, trying to contain your excitement. “I don’t know how to describe it, but... I mean, you know!”

“Yeah I know,” he chuckled at your giddiness. “I know precisely,” he smiled.

“So what now?” you asked, eager.

“Now?” he repeated, amused. “Now you go and get some sleep, once you ride out that high you’ll be crashing pretty fast.”

He was amused by how you seemed to deflate yet remain unbelievably happy.

“Alright then, we should probably be on our way,” you agreed. “Wouldn’t want you to miss out on an exclusive Gryffindor event,” you joked, referring to the party he’d gotten out of to be there with you.

“Trust me, this event right here was much more exclusive,” he winked. 

A moment passed, and he saw a million thoughts go through your head. He was about to frown, when your face relaxed and you lurched forward to give him a quick hug.

“Thanks for being here with me tonight, Sirius,” you thanked him, and he felt your heart pounding from the adrenaline against his chest, making him smile to himself. “I definitely needed that... security.”

“No problem,” he chuckled, not bothering to find a witty reply.

You stepped away, and he couldn’t help but catch a whiff of the smell of your shampoo as you did so. Something floral, and something woody, too. Why did it feel familiar to him?

“Alright, no need to hang around here any longer,” you said, looking around.

“After you,” he mock-bowed, smirking.

* * *

The following day at lunch, Sirius was sitting with James, Remus and Peter as usual. He was fiddling with his fork in his emptied plate, half-listening to James doting on about Lily and what he should get her for Christmas even though they’d only started going out two weeks prior and there was over a month left until the Holidays.

He was growing increasingly bored, when his gaze caught you on your way to leaving the hall. He followed you with his eyes a second too long, because unbeknownst to him, Remus had followed his gaze.

“So sorry lads, I just remembered, I have some homework to get on with,” Sirius excused himself, getting up.

“You seem awfully eager to get to that _homework,_ mate,” Remus teased knowingly.

“Yeah that doesn’t even make sense Pads, it’s a Saturday,” James scoffed, genuinely puzzled.

“Detention homework,” he shrugged.

“Oh right,” Peter nodded.

Sirius took the occasion to start walking away, fast.

“Wait, we didn’t even get detention this week!” Peter exclaimed, and the three pairs of eyes followed him out of the great hall, only Remus having an idea of where he was truly headed.

“Y/N, wait up!” he shouted after you.

You turned around, a puzzled look about you, before smiling when you saw him. He jogged up to you, not failing to notice your smile. 

“Someone’s in a good mood today,” he said having caught up. “Are you still glad it all went well and you’re not permanently feathered or are you simply happy to see me?” he teased.

“A little bit of both actually,” you smiled earnestly.

“Ooh, sincerity,” he noted, surprised. “Is that our thing now?”

“I don’t know, do we have a “thing”?” you replied, smirking.

“Why does this feel like a trick question?” he pondered.

“I don’t know, does it?” you asked back, amused.

He shook his head, chuckling, before shifting the conversation back to the purpose he’d ran after you for. 

“Listen, if you ever want a safer spot than the owlery, to, you know, “train”, even though I’ll admit it is fairly fitting-” he started, but was cut off by his own confusion.

He’d caught another whiff of the same scent he’d smelled off you the previous night, but this time stronger. He couldn’t help but be overpowered by the feeling he’d already smelled that exact scent, but he couldn’t pinpoint why, and he somehow knew it was important.

“Are you okay?” you asked him, somewhat worried. “Am I witnessing a stroke?”

“No, sorry, I just, uh, something just randomly popped in my mind,” he brushed it off. “Anyways, what I was saying is, if you’re not doing anything, I have a pretty sweet spot I could show you,” he added.

“Yeah, okay,” you replied, still wondering what had taken over him.

_Great, now she must think I’m dim or something,_ he internally groaned. 

“Got your wand with you?” he asked, since you’d need it.

“A good witch always does,” you winked playfully. 

“Alright then, follow me,” he chuckled.

He sneaked the two of you out of the castle and to the edge of the forbidden forest. You’d chatted lightly on the way, but when you realized where he wanted to go, you hesitated.

“Sirius, that’s the forbidden forest... As in off limits,” you pointed out, worried. 

“Oh okay, so illegally becoming an animagus is perfectly fine but Hogwarts rules are sacred?” he scoffed, not having considered that now would be the time you’d have scruples. 

“You are actively trying to land us in detention again, aren’t you?” you argued, unfazed by his rhetoric.

“Listen, if you’d rather hang out on the school grounds and risk being spotted be my guest, I’m just trying to help you out here,” he replied, suddenly defensive.

He watched you take a breath and evaluate your options. Somehow, he always expected things to go a certain way with you, and they never did. He hadn’t decided yet whether it was exciting or frustrating. 

“Okay, let’s go,” you conceded.

He smiled triumphantly, and unconsciously extended his hand to you before getting going. His heart skipped a beat when he realized that you were looking at his hand with your eyebrows raised, a look about you at the crossroads of hesitant and stunned. You were turning this into a bigger gesture than he’d meant, and he was going to drop his hand, but you caught it at the last minute. 

“Let’s go,” he nodded, biting his lip to stop a smile.

He couldn’t help but feel glad you finally trusted him. After all that had happened, from the hallway encounters to the detention to the transformation, some part of him felt better knowing he was no longer just the prick who’d sent your robes on fire in the first year to impress his friends. He realized he no longer thought of you as that Slytherin girl with the Gryffindor little brother. Perhaps that was what had drawn him to you in the first place, your situations sort of being at opposite ends.

“So, uh, how has your brother been?” he asked you, his wandering thoughts having caused some sort of silence. 

“You probably see him more often than I do at this point, to be honest,” you replied, amused and a twinge bitter.

“Right,” he nodded. “Just like you probably see Regulus more often than I do,” he added.

“Right,” you nodded. “Household rivalries, truly what holds this school together,” you said mockingly.

He didn’t reply right away. Like most students, he’d loved the feeling of belonging to his house more than any inconvenience it could have ever caused.

“This isn’t the first time you’ve said something along those lines,” he simply noted.

“Sorry,” you said, and he could’ve sworn you were biting your tongue.

“You know, if something’s on your mind, now’s as good a time as any to let it out,” he suggested. “Away from any other set of ears.”

Your hand slipped from his as it went to scratch your neck, you shoulders tense. 

“It’s just that...” you started, looking to the ground, “My brother and I were super close when we were younger. And now he barely smiles at me when I see him and he’s with his Gryffindor friends, and to be honest it kinda sucks.”

“Yeah, I know what you mean,” he scoffed. “I mean, don’t get me wrong, I never really got along with my family, but sometimes I wonder if things would have been better if I hadn’t gotten sorted into Gryffindor. If they hadn’t seen it coming,” he reflected.

“I didn’t know you were in such a bad place with your family,” you replied quietly. “Sorry.”

“It’s okay, and besides, I’ve found a new family here. One that’s better for me,” he said. “I would’ve gone insane without them.”

You nodded, silent. People didn’t talk about these things at Hogwarts. He’d never met anyone who questioned the house system. 

“I’m not saying this to change your mind or anything, though,” he added, looking at you to see if he could discern your thoughts on your face.

“No, it’s good to see things from other perspectives,” you said. “It makes for a healthier... discussion.”

He could see you were holding back, like you hadn’t finished saying what you had on your mind. He wondered whether it was more appropriate to touch your shoulder, or your arm, or keep his hands to himself to show he was open to you going on. He was about to reach for your shoulder when you sighed loudly, and his hand fell back to his side.

“It’s just, I see how it may be good to put like-minded people together, but for seven years?” you began. “I don’t know, sometimes I’ll be in our common room, and I’ll hear whispers, and I won’t like what I think I’m hearing.”

You paused again, and he felt that somehow your conversation had just gotten a lot deeper. For people who usually talked about party snacks, this was a new thing. He hadn’t had that kind of talk with anyone besides Remus in recent years.

“What’s your stance on divination, Sirius?” you asked him, and you stopped walking to get a good look at him.

“That I’m not particularly gifted at it?” he answered, unsure what you wanted to hear. 

You nodded, seeming to ponder whether you’d keep going.

“The other day we got to use the crystal balls in class. Mine filled with some sort of murky green smoke, and then the smoke started to move like there was a storm in there. And then there was a flash of bright green. And the smoke transformed into ash, and it filled the ball so much it cracked, and the ash leaked onto the table,” you recounted, your voice much less stable than it usually was.

Sirius could hear the fright in your voice. Frankly, he was feeling uneasy himself.

“So what does it mean?” he asked carefully.

“Nothing, if you don’t believe in divination,” you scoffed. “Nothing good if you do. It was sent to the department of mysteries at the Ministry.”

At this point, you were both deep into the forbidden forest, and Sirius had absolutely no idea how to react to what you’d just said. 

“Sorry, I don’t know why I brought it up,” you apologized, and a tear spilled out of your right eye.

“Hey-” he began, wanting to do something, anything to comfort you.

“Merlin, I don’t know why I’m so emotional,” you said, wiping your cheek, annoyed. “I guess it’s from finally talking about it out loud,” you shook your head. “Of course this couldn’t just be a nice walk through the forest,” you scoffed.

“Listen, it’s okay,” Sirius intervened, and he instinctively pulled you in his arms. “I’m glad it’s off your chest, that sounded intense. Sorry you had to see that,” he said to let you know he wasn’t bothered.

Now that you were in his arms, however, he somehow felt incredibly awkward, as if he’d forgotten which way was okay to hug a friend. Should he hold you tighter? Should he stroke your back? And on top of it, his nose was now right next to your hair, and there was that smell of flowers and some type of wood again that drove him crazy by not knowing how he knew it.

“Thanks,” you breathed, and you stepped away, ending his anguish. “Sorry if I freaked you out with all the serious stuff, I don’t know what took over me.”

“Please, serious is my _first_ name, I can handle you speaking your mind,” he chuckled.

You let out an exasperated laugh, shaking your head.

“And just how many times have you made that joke exactly?” you asked, amused.

“Oh, far too many times,” he conceded. “Anyways, I didn’t want to kill your whole vibe there before,” he started, but you interrupted him by playfully punching his arm, “Ow! Anyways, we’re here.”

He saw you looking around, searching for a particularity to the spot.

“A few more footsteps actually,” he corrected himself.

He took your hand, this time confidently and without waiting for you to accept, and lead you forward through some drooping branches, making sure to hold them out of your way so they wouldn’t snap on you. And sure enough, there it was; a nice clearing, with a clear view to the sky. It looked innocent enough, but his trained eye immediately went to the trees where James had left marks from rubbing his antlers, or the scarce patch of grass where he himself had decided to test out how long he could dig as a dog without getting tired.

“Nice spot,” you smiled. “So, should we get to work?”

“Might as well, having come this far,” he replied, happy he’d brought you there.


	9. That Makes Two of Us

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Over the past months, you and Sirius have been growing closer through random encounters and his helping you transform into an animagus. Sirius is pretty confident you trust him by now, but is trust the only thing between the two of you?

That Monday morning in potions, Sirius had a hard time not falling asleep right on his workstation while awaiting for professor Slughorn to begin his class. He’d had a long weekend; on the Friday night he’d helped you transform into an animagus for the very first time, on Saturday he’d spent a good portion of the day helping you train in the woods, and on Sunday, well, him and the marauders had gone to Hogsmeade before the full moon that night. 

Needless to say, he hadn’t gotten much sleep, and Remus wasn’t even with him to keep him awake because he was in the infirmary. It hadn’t been his worse night, but Sirius did sport a brand new bruise on his lower neck which didn’t even have the decency to look like a hickey.

“Alright, class, time to review what we’ve covered so far, and see what you remember from the past few years,” Professor Slughorn announced, waltzing in from his office. “You will notice that in front of you are already laid out the ingredients to a potion with a list of instructions. You will also notice that there are no indications of the name of the potion, and that everyone will be brewing a different one. Your goal is not only to brew the potion correctly, but to identify it without consulting references,” the professor explained, waving his wand to reveal the instructions on the board. “People who succeed will see their grades on the end of term examinations bonified. Now, begin!”

Sirius restrained himself from groaning audibly. Why, of all days, was this the one that he didn’t have Remus to rely on. He would have known the name of the potion just from looking at the ingredients. And, from the way James was looking at him mockingly, he also knew what Sirius had in front of him but would not tell him, at least not unless he grew desperate.

_Alright, well, better start now_, Sirius thought. 

As he and the rest of the class progressed along, Professor Slughorn made his way around, sometimes making suggestions to students whose potions didn’t seem quite right. Sirius was somewhat confident he was doing okay. However, he didn’t like the frown on his Slughorn’s face when he came up to him.

“Anything wrong, professor?” he asked, trying not to panic because he really could use the extra marks on his exam.

“Hm, this should be shinier by now,” Slughorn replied.

He leaned in closer to the cauldron to smell it. 

“Doesn’t smell right either,” he mumbled. “Do you smell anything Mr. Black?” he asked him.

Sirius leaned down to have a whiff, but the potion surprisingly didn’t gave away any smell.

“No, sir,” he replied, worried he had tanked the whole thing.

“Try really scraping the bottom when you stir, perhaps there’s a deposit in there,” suggested Slughorn.

Sirius did so, wary of his professor’s reaction. Almost immediately, the liquid took on a faint sheen. The volutes of smoke started spiralling lazily in the air. Sirius knew these were tells of which potion he was dealing with, but he felt like something was missing before he could identify it.

“Ah, much better,” the professor approved. “Tell me, what do you smell now?”

Sirius leaned down once again, and while the scent wasn’t too strong, it was there now.

“It’s blended, sir,” he replied, but saw Slughorn expected more. “Alright hum, I smell leather, firewhisky, something woody, maybe? And, uh,… some flower, I thi-oh,” he suddenly paused. “I know what this potion is,” he declared, stunned.

“Do you now, Mr. Black?” Slughorn responded, quite clearly amused.

“I believe it’s, uhm, Amortentia, sir,” he answered, and immediately he heard James snickering at the workstation behind him. 

“Very good!” Slughorn praised enthusiastically. “If you keep this up, these extra points will be yours, Mr. Black,” he added, before leaving to go see another student.

Sirius didn’t even have the time to process what he’d just learned that James was already calling out to him. 

“Hey, Black! Sirius!” he whisper-shouted. “Something woody and some flower, that wasn’t in there when we brewed it last year, was it?” he taunted. 

“Probably because you didn’t brew it right then,” Sirius hissed over his shoulder, not trying to get James all up in his business, especially now that his own love life with Lily was relatively stable.

“Sounds like Sirius fancies someone and won’t tell us,” Peter quipped in, as he was working with James.

“Mind your own cauldron, Wormtail,” Sirius replied, before proceeding to ignore his idiot friends.

Sirius tried to focus on brewing his potion right until the end of the class, but the same nagging thought kept popping up in the back of his mind. _That’s why the scent felt familiar_, he kept thinking. While it was true that he had not smelled it in in class the previous year, he had smelled some a few weeks back when Mary Macdonald had sneaked some of it during a party to get everyone to smell it. She’d felt like a matchmaker that night and was trying to figure out if anyone’s answers matched in some way.

Now that he came to think of it, it was the night McGonagall had caught the two of you outside the kitchens. The night he’d drunkenly attempted to kiss you, at the time for no apparent reason other than that was what he did when he was… inebriated. Had he fancied you this whole time? If he was honest with himself, he wasn’t even aware that he liked you in that way. Sure, he really liked spending time with you, and he really wanted you to trust him for some reason, and he felt connected to you in a way he didn’t feel towards anyone else in Hogwarts… _Ah fuck_, he thought. _That potion might be on to something_.

* * *

When his last class before lunch finally was over, Sirius nearly ran to the Hospital Wing. 

“MOONY, WE HAVE A PROBLEM,” he shouted as he pushed open the doors to the infirmary, headed towards his friend’s usual bed. “Oh, hey Lils, didn’t expect you to be here,” he added when he realized Remus already had company.

“Mr. Black! How often must I forbid you from shouting in my infirmary for you to finally make some sense of the rules!” the matron shushed him.

“Sorry, Poppy, but this is a matter of the greatest importance,” he apologized while still walking towards his friend. 

“That’s Madam Pomfrey to you,” she replied, exasperated. “Just because I’m younger than most of the staff doesn’t preclude you from using the right titles, Sirius.”

“Noted. My deepest apologies, Poppy,” he winked before plopping down on Remus’s bead.

The matron went away rolling her eyes, giving up.

“You really should be nicer to Madam Pomfrey, considering how many times she’s helped you lot,” Lily chuckled. 

“Also, what’s this matter of the greatest importance you were talking about?” Remus pitched in.

“Ah, yes, about that,” Sirius nodded, averting his gaze to Lily. “You’re gonna have to go, Lils.”

“Does this have anything to do with you brewing the Amortentia this morning?” she asked, not moving an inch.

“What? How do y- When did James even have the time to tell you about this?” Sirius replied, shocked.

“For someone who’s spent the past few years trading parchment notes with him you really do underestimate his communication skills,” she answered, clearly enjoying herself.

“Yeah, well,” Sirius started, scrambling for a way to salvage his dignity, “This doesn’t have anything to do with that, so you can go knowing you’re not missing anything,” he tried.

“Right,” she scoffed, nonetheless getting up and gathering her things. “Well, Remus, glad to see you’re not feeling so bad after all. I do hope Poppy will let you go soon enough,” she bid him goodbye.

“Madam Pomfrey!” the matron scolded from her office to which the door was open.

“See you later boys,” Lily smirked before heading for the door.

“Thanks for coming by!” Remus thanked her as she left. “Now you,” he added, looking Sirius in the eyes, “Having heard what I just did, this better not be what I think it’s about,” he warned. 

“Sure, well,” Sirius started, collecting his thoughts, “Remember Y/N?”

“Let me see,” Remus replied, “yea high, has been seen in your company a lot recently, and my Ancient Runes partner I expressly asked you not to 'get involved’ with?” 

“Exactly,” Sirius nodded, ignoring the sarcasm. “Now about that last part you just mentioned…”

“For Merlin’s sake, Sirius, it’s not like there aren’t plenty of other girls in Hogwarts,” Remus groaned.

“Only that the smell of all these other girls’ hair didn’t show up in my Amortentia this morning,” Sirius argued in a lower voice, not wanting Madam Pomfrey to hear.

Remus took a few seconds to breathe in. “Always an excuse, every bloody time,” he cursed under his breath, more exasperated than angry. “How do you even know what her hair smells like, first of all?”

Sirius took a second to ponder his answer, trying to remember. 

“She may or may not have hugged me in a, uhm, moment of gratitude,” he answered. “And it’s not a smell you forget easily. At least, I didn’t,” he added. “Actually, I recognized it from the other night when Mary brought the Amortentia, remember?”

“You already smelled it all the way back then?” Remus asked, surprised. “Why are you just now doing anything about it?”

“You know me, Remus, I’m not exactly in touch with my _feelings_,” Sirius brushed off.

“Merlin, mate, you’re telling me it took the most powerful love potion out there, and _not once_, but _twice_, to make you realize you fancy the poor girl?” Remus rolled his eyes, pretty much ready to give up hope of Sirius ever becoming a functional human being.

“Hey, it’s not like it’s an obvious turn of the situation, I reckon,” Sirius tried defending himself, unsure where his point was going. “She’s a Slytherin, and I’m a Gryffindor, and I barely even remembered her name when I first saw her by the kitchens…” he trailed on, examining any element that might contradict what the potion was telling him.

“Hold on,” Remus interrupted. “Is she the reason why you’ve suddenly taken up snack duty?”

“I’m.., not answering that,” Sirius shook his head, heat rising to his face, feeling very puerile all of a sudden.

“That answers it alright,” Remus chuckled. “And to think you say it wasn’t predictable… So, what are you going to do about it?”

“What do you mean?” Sirius asked, confused.

“Well, you’re going to tell her, aren’t you?” Remus replied. “Doesn’t seem like there’s much I could say to discourage you.”

“I hadn’t thought this out this far yet, to be quite honest,” Sirius replied. “I don’t even know how she feels about me.”

“When has that ever stopped you?” 

“This isn’t like that, Moony,” Sirius huffed, annoyed by his own powerlessness. “I don’t want to screw up what we’ve got going, it’s kinda nice hanging out with someone else for a change,” he thought out loud. “No offence to you and the lads, of course.”

“None taken,” Remus smiled. “It does seem like you’ve got a lot of thinking to do, however. Best way to ruin it all is to love like a fool, s’what my dad always says.”

“Alright now, no need to bring Love into this quite yet, okay,” Sirius interjected, growing nervous.

Before he could add anything, the doors of the infirmary swung open. Sirius couldn’t believe the irony, but in you came, parchment overflowing from your arms, determined as ever. It was the first he was seeing of you since his… epiphany, and he couldn’t have looked away if he’d wanted. A hundred witty phrases caught in his throat as you walked over.

“Hello boys,” you smiled, a bit exhausted, dropping some parchments on a bedside table. “You’re lucky you didn’t miss much this time Remus, a tad of reading and you’ll be all caught up,” you told him. “Didn’t expect to see you here, Sirius,” you added, addressing him a particularly bright smile.

“Thank you again for doing this,” Remus said, “Really appreciate it. Y/N’s here to drop off my Ancient Runes homework,” he explained to Sirius, who had yet to make sense of the situation.

“Oh, no problem,” you replied. “Glad to see you don’t seem to be doing too… bad after all,” you added, motioning to his chest injuries. Sirius couldn’t help but notice you seemed uncomfortable by the fact that Remus was bare-chested.

“Hey, Y/N, I meant to go see you, do you have a minute?” Sirius blurted, the first words he’d mustered since you’d come in. “I have to talk to you about something.”

“I actually really need to get going, can it wait?” you responded, gathering up your things. You must’ve noticed his defeated look, though, because you quickly offered an alternative. “I’ll be working in the library after classes though, if you want to swing by then.”

Sirius nodded, actually relieved to have a bit more time to sort himself out.

“Yeah, okay, I’ll probably do that,” he agreed, trying to sound as nonchalant as he usually did. Since when did he get _flustered_? 

“Alright see you later then,” you bid him goodbye, actually taking the time to squeeze his arm as you said so with a smile. “See you next class Remus, get better until then!” you waved him goodbye, and quickly rushed out.

Sirius’s gaze followed you out, Remus carefully watching the whole thing unfold. When the door shut behind you, Sirius snapped out of it and averted his attention back to his friend.

“Why are you looking at me this way,” he demanded, noticing the stare.

“You like her more than I figured,” Remus stated, the corner of his mouth tugging upwards.

“Yeah, well, that makes two of us,” Sirius scoffed.


	10. I Know You By Now

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Having had to brew Amortentia in potions class and having smelled your scent in there, Sirius was forced to come to terms with the fact that he might just like you more than he had intended to. But just what is he going to do about it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the final chapter my dudes! It's the only one I've slightly edited, just because it took two years to get to the ending, and I'm really proud of it and want it to be as good as it can be. Hopefully you enjoyed this story! If you did, I posted a collection of my shorter fics too on here, feel free to check it out through my profile if you're into it :)

Right after classes, Sirius had gone to the library to catch you there. So, when he had realized you weren’t there, frustration started creeping up on him, building up as he made his way back to the Gryffindor tower. He’d spent all day not listening the slightest bit in class, trying to figure out what his next move should be, or actually attempting to decide if he should make a move at all. 

Remus had urged him to talk to you, and usually Remus had been known to be bizarrely insightful with this kind of situation, but this time something didn’t sit right. He’d always gone to girls as soon as he figured out he was attracted even in the tiniest, wobbliest way, but now for the first time he was considering taking it slow. Perhaps it was best trying to see if you fancied him back before attempting anything. Perhaps you not having been in the library like you’d said you would be was a sign he should read into, or whatever his divination handbook would say.

Then again, as fate would have it, as soon as the thought had bloomed in his mind, he spotted you sitting on one of the benches by the courtyard, reading. The afternoon sun shone on your face like a spotlight singling you out from everyone and everything around, and in the span of a single second, his resolve to let things run their course organically completely dissolved. Had he been the slightest bit self-aware, he would’ve noticed how his heart picked up its pace as he made his way to you.

“Y/N!” he called to make you look up.

You smiled as he plopped down next to you, closing your book. "Hey, Sirius."

“I went by the library like you said and couldn’t find you there. If I didn’t know better, from this episode and you being in such a rush earlier in the hospital wing, I’d say you’ve taken up avoiding me,” he teased nonchalantly.

“Sorry about that,” you chuckled. “I’m waiting on someone before I head up to the library and he’s running late, so you can blame it on him if you wish.”

“I see,” he nodded, “And just who might the lucky fellow be?” he asked, trying not to come off as too curious.

He saw a flash of... something in your eyes, but you didn’t get the chance to reply.

“That would be me,” a dry voice answered.

Sirius looked up to see Severus was now standing next to you, books in hand and the same emotionless expression as ever on his face. In that moment, he understood how fires must feel when you choke them out by throwing a blanket on top of them.

“Sorry I was late, are you ready to go?” he added, to you only this time.

Sirius instantly brushed him off. “Listen mate, don’t you see we’re in the middle of something? You made her wait, now take a number and go back down the queue, will you?” 

He did _not_ like having him there when he didn’t know if the next words out of his mouth would be to ask you out.

“I can answer for myself, thank you very much Sirius,” you told him, and he noticed your smile had faded and your voice had tensed the way posh people’s voice did when they were mad.

_Oh god, I don’t know if I could handle a posh girlfriend_, he thought to himself, starting to panic from things not going the way he had planned. So much so he didn’t even think twice about mentally using the term ‘girlfriend’.

“Sirius just wanted to talk to me about something, but I’m sure it’ll be really quick, you don’t mind waiting do you?” you asked Snape much more politely.

He nodded. “I didn’t know you were friends with... his kind,” he commented coldly.

“Oh, piss off Snivellus,” Sirius rolled his eyes. 

“Sirius!” you scolded him, surprised. “What’s the matter with you?!”

“The matter with me?” he scoffed. “Why don’t you ask him that question, coming here interrupting us and acting all high and mighty like he’s not the bloody embodiment of _filth_,” he replied, getting worked up by the second.

Your mouth gaped open at his reaction. He could tell you really weren’t pleased with how the situation was escalating, but he was starting to get mad from Snape being there, and he could almost feel his self-control escaping him. 

“Charming as ever, Black,” Severus mocked him. “Where is the rest of your band of insufferable dimwits today? I thought you only flocked together like a pathetic little pack of strays.”

“Severus!” you exclaimed, stunned at how vicious the spat was turning.

“Oh you’re going to regret this mate,” Sirius warned, whipping out his wand and pointing it as Snape.

“How adorable of you to think you can take me on your own,” he snickered dryly. “You’re not even the second best out of the four of you.”

Sirius was nearly fuming with rage, and students were starting to gather around, anticipating a duel. Before Snape could even motion to grasp his wand properly, Sirius cast the knockback jinx on him, sending him to the ground.

“_Flipendo_!” he enunciated, his voice devoid of pity. A chorus of gasps and cheers erupted around them. “You have some nerve, attacking my friends when you don’t even have any of your own, Slytherin _scum_,” he spat, raising his wand once more. “Now this next jinx ought to teach you to hold your tongue, Snivellus. _Langlo_-”

“_Expelliarmus_!”

Before he’d finished pronouncing the jinx, his wand had gone flying out of his hand. He turned to see who was responsible, and he was met with an intolerable expression in your eyes, or intolerable to him at least. Instantly coming down from the high of his anger, he realized he’d completely lost sight of what he’d meant to be telling you. 

Before anyone could say anything, the resounding voice of Professor McGonagall resonated throughout the courtyard. Sirius had seen her angry plenty of times, but he knew this time was worse.

“Sirius Black, just what do you think you’re doing exactly, raising your wand against a fellow student?” she asked blazing through the crowd. “Since apparently all my warnings have gone unwarranted, I’ll let the Headmaster deal with you this time around,” she ordered, her angry stare scaring away the crowd that had gathered, leaving only him, Snape and yourself around. 

“Mr. Snape, did you cast any spells?” she asked him harshly, lowering her gaze to him as he was still on the ground, harbouring a blank expression Sirius knew was meant to cover up his rage and humiliation. 

“No, professor,” he replied smugly.

“Then what are you still doing here? Get on up and go, for Merlin’s sake,” she dismissed him, and he reluctantly walked away.

“What about you, Miss Y/L/N?” she asked, stern.

“I only casted the disarming charm so he’d stop, professor,” you answered, your tone levelled. 

“The both of you will follow me to Professor Dumbledore’s office then,” McGonagall ordered, and started walking away.

“What? How is that fair, I-” Sirius heard you start, but you were immediately cut off.

“Save your justifications for the Headmaster. No matter your intentions, rules were broken, fundamental rules of this school at that,” McGonagall retorted, not bothering to stop in her tracks.

Sirius tried to meet your eyes, but you made it impossible for him, averting your gaze instantaneously. _How the bloody hell did I fuck up this bad? _he asked himself internally, feeling like he was collapsing on himself. Somehow, he’d managed to break his own heart.

He sulked all the way up to Dumbledore’s office, thinking over and over how he’d completely erased any chance he could’ve had at you liking him back. He couldn’t help but think how you’d get punished because of him, and how he’d come to know these things really affected you. 

“Lemon drops,” McGonagall said once the revolving statue had been reached. 

She escorted the two of you upstairs, and you all found Dumbledore sitting behind his desk, writing with what appeared to be the longest, whitest quill known to wizard. Fawkes was perched by the side of the desk. Every time Sirius had wound up in the headmaster’s office, which there was no shortage of, he couldn’t help but be fascinated by the phoenix. 

“Ah, Minerva, in what trouble has Mr. Black managed to drag Miss Y/L/N which would warrant a visit to my office?” Dumbledore asked, looking up from his paperwork, peering over his half-moon glasses. 

“I am at my wit’s end with the boy, Professor. It seems no disciplinary measure I come up with prevents him from jinxing his fellow students. This time it was the knockback jinx,” she explained, concern bleeding through her exasperation. “More so, I’ve had to give detention to this exact pair earlier this semester.”

Sirius saw you wince at the last comment. 

“Ah, I see,” Dumbledore replied. “Fortunately, these forms are boring me immensely right now. You may leave them with me. I shall ensure appropriate action is taken,” he dismissed her. 

McGonagall nodded and left, the clicking of her boots’ heels echoing through the office. Dumbledore gestured at the two of you to sit at the chairs facing his desk, signing one last document before pushing the parchments aside to observe you both better. After a short pause, he spoke up again.

“So, Y/N, why don’t you recall the events that lead you here for me?” he asked.

* * *

“... And then I could tell he was going to cast another jinx on Severus, and he seemed too out of it to be reasoned with, so I disarmed him to prevent further harm,” you concluded. “I never meant to engage in the fight Professor, I just wanted to make it stop, before either of them did something they would regret,” you added, your voice pleading.

“Very well,” Dumbledore nodded.

Slowly, the headmaster turned his gaze to Sirius, slouched in his seat beside you. You’d refused to look at him since McGonagall had escorted you both upstairs. How could things have escalated so quickly, without warning? You knew Sirius and his friends didn’t get along with Severus, had heard about confrontations between the lot of them, but never had you thought so little could trigger them to jump at each other’s throats like that. 

Just thinking about the spat made you mad. How could Sirius have been so vicious? How could he have called Severus ‘Slytherin scum’ when you had been right there next to him, after all the talks you’d had about house rivalries? You thought he had been genuine, but had he just been buttering you up? Oh, and the way he’d said it, like the words were poison themselves...

“Mr. Black, do you care to add anything?” Dumbledore asked, his eyes serious and his tone even.

Sirius stirred in his seat.

“I don’t think so, professor,” he said. “Every time I wind up here, I say I’ll do better, I’ll be better, but... I don’t think I know how. I guess I can’t,” he sighed, and had you not been so upset with him, you might’ve felt a pang of pity. 

This was not the confident Sirius you were used to. He seemed younger all of a sudden, because there he was, a boy not quite grown, defeated. He had stopped trying to meet your eyes. But none of that erased what he had said. Because that was what you cared about. The fact he’d cast Flipendo on someone else, that he’d broken the rules, you didn’t care about much, you realized. But the words he’d said had perhaps cut you deeper than they had Severus.

“Now, Mr. Black,” Dumbledore started replying, taking off his glasses to stare him directly in the eyes. “Just because you do not know how does not mean you can’t. It simply means you must learn it first.”

Sirius looked up, but something in his expression indicated he dared not yet hope. You suddenly felt out of place, like the exchange was part of a conversation started long before you had walked in on Sirius’s life. 

“I will put some thought on how Hogwarts can help you with your self-control, Sirius, and will come back to you shortly with a solution I will expect you to comply with as reparation for your actions today,” Dumbledore explained, a glint of benevolence in his gaze. “In the meantime, I am sure your friend Remus could share much wisdom on the topic with you, if you were brave enough to ask.”

You smiled inwardly at his word choice. You hadn’t met with the headmaster often yourself, not being a troublemaker by nature, but you could see so many students, alumni and staff respected him so. He was good at his job, if sometimes a bit peculiar, knowing how to appeal to people’s natures so they’d actually listen. Meanwhile, Sirius shifted in his seat, seeming in deep reflexion.

“As for immediate consequences,” Dumbledore continued, leaning back and seemingly bringing you back into the conversation, “I will deduct thirty house points from Gryffindor for the use of the knock-back jinx on a fellow student outside of permissible circumstances, and ten from Slytherin for the disarming charm,” he announced solemnly, putting his glasses back on.

You felt yourself deflate in your seat. You knew you were about to get an earful from your house prefect for failing your house, especially since you were nearly tied with Ravenclaw for the most points at the moment.

“However, I have always maintained it takes a special sort of courage to stand up to your friends to prevent them harm from themselves,” Dumbledore smiled, faintly amused. “For putting an end to the confrontation before it could further pan out, Y/N, I am awarding you fifteen house points. Just... do not make this a habit,” he advised.

“No, sir,” you replied wide-eyed, a bit stunned. “Thank you, sir.”

From the corner of your eye, you could see Sirius was trying to get you to look at him again, probably to give you some kind of “at least that wasn’t so bad” smile, but you refused to cave in to him. Just because his short temper hadn’t cost you house points after all did not mean he was forgiven.

“Now, if the two of you would see yourselves down to Professor Slughorn’s classroom, I believe he will have your detention ready. You two are to help him clean cauldrons until every last one is clean as new,” he dismissed you both, gathering back the parchments he had been working on earlier.

You sprung up and headed for the door immediately, your cheeks burning in embarrassment. In no previous year had you been given detention so often. As you walked out, you started to ponder whether it was possible that Sirius was more of a bad influence than anything else. Of course, he’d helped you a lot with your Animagus business, and he’d been so patient about it. But he’d also landed you in more trouble than you’d ever been in. Your mind was advising you to cool off your friendship with him, not shutting him out entirely but perhaps not entangling your life with his as much. And yet, at the mere thought of such a prospect, your heart inexplicably ached. 

“Y/N, wait up!” Sirius shouted after you, catching up outside of Dumbledore’s office, where he’d seemingly lingered longer than you.

You turned to look at him, but you didn’t slow down, keeping a fast pace towards the dungeons. You heard him curse under his breath as he accelerated, jogging to you. 

“Please just hear me out, I’m so sorry all this happened, I don’t know what got a hold of me,” he apologized, reaching out for your arm but not grabbing it.

“I don’t want to talk to you right now, Sirius,” you brushed him off, keeping on walking in the empty hallway. 

“That’s okay, I just need you to listen, I-,” he replied, but you cut him off.

“I’m not feeling particularly keen on that either, I haven’t quite loved what I heard from you today.”

The bite in your tone took him by surprise, and for a second he stopped walking while you went on. You started climbing down a stairway when you felt it start to shift under your feet. Thankfully, its destination remained the same, but a quick glance upwards let you see Sirius was having a new route cut out for him. Taking a moment to breathe, you stopped walking down the stairs as they kept on realigning themselves. Despite all your time at Hogwarts, the feeling still made you uneasy. But then you heard it, the thud of a weight landing on the stairway behind you. Instantly, you turned around to see him stick the landing on the second step.

“Are you bloody mad? You jumped on a moving stairway? You could’ve tumbled all the way down, you knob!” you shrieked, instinctively running up to him, before you stopped yourself, seeing he was obviously fine.

“Good thing I didn’t then, uh?” he smirked, but stopped as he saw the scowl on your face. “Listen, just tell me what I have to do to make it up to you. I can’t stand seeing you so mad,” he pleaded, walking down to the step you stood at to look into your eyes at the same level. 

“Merlin, you’re so infuriating!” you exclaimed, inching away. “This isn’t the House Cup, Sirius, you can’t just lose points and make up for them by winning some more.”

“You’re right, I-” he started replying, but you cut him off once more, your anger bloating inside you.

“And you know what? If you don’t want me to be mad, why don’t you try not saying such... such vile things!” you burst, incapable of holding it in any longer, attracting many disapproving stares from the portraits lining the walls. “I can’t believe how cruel you were to him, Sirius! ‘Slythering scum’, is that really what you think?” you accused him.

Feeling a prickle in your eye, you willed yourself to shut the faucet of your anger just as quickly as it had burst open. Shaking your head, you started walking away from him.

“You... you know I didn’t mean that about you,” he stuttered, completely taken aback by your outburst. “And you’re not being fair!” he exclaimed after a pause, anger sprouting in his own voice. “And you heard what your stupid... _boyfriend_ said to me, how was that any better?” he spat.

One last time, you stopped dead in your tracks to look at him.

“Don’t worry, there’s plenty of my anger to go around for the both of you,” you replied, your voice ice cold. “And my _boyfriend_, really? Don’t be fucking juvenile, Sirius.”

And with that, you marched on ahead without him. Had you turned around, you might have deciphered that the look on his face translated as him pondering whether banging his head on the wall would make him even more juvenile.

* * *

Slughorn was showing you the cauldrons in need of cleaning when Sirius walked into the potions classroom, a few minutes after you.

“Ah, Mr. Black, very well,” Slughorn commented as he shut the door behind himself. “I trust you’ll remember what to do from the last time you were here under my supervision, am I correct?” he asked him in his distinct tone. Slughorn was mostly either proud or neutral about students, and rarely ever expressed disappointment for students he hadn’t elevated to the ranks of his little private club.

Sirius simply nodded, hesitant to come nearer the two of you.

“You may get started on the pile over there,” Slughorn gestured to a workstation covered in a few old cauldrons. With a flick of his wand, he transfigured the workstation right besides it into a basin filled with soapy water. 

Without a word, Sirius headed there, head hanging low. You hadn’t expected him to react to your lashing out like that. You’d expected more dramatic scowls, perhaps a gaze filled with resentment. But instead, he looked just like he had for a moment in Dumbledore’s office. Defeated.

You averted your attention back to Slughorn, who was demonstrating to you how to properly brush the cauldrons so they would not rust unevenly. When you’d asked him why it couldn’t be done with magic, he’d replied that it easily could be done, but that he believed in manual labour as a form of detention.

“Now, why don’t you show me how you would do it, and I’ll let you get to it, yes?” he asked you.

Nodding, you grabbed the bristled brush he was handing you and started scrubbing the bottom of a cauldron with it, working to get a thick tar to leech off the copper.

“Hm, what a particular scent,” Slughorn mumbled as you worked away. “Miss Y/L/N/, I hope you do not mind me asking, but what are the scents in your perfume?” he asked. 

You stopped scrubbing to look up at him, befuddled by his inquiry. You also saw Sirius stop working to turn your way, an odd look on his face as he stared at the Professor.

“I know it’s an unusual question,” Slughorn started explaining, “but you see one of my close friends - and former student, actually - is a budding master of fragrances. He was writing to me the other day, asking if I knew of any singular combinations of scents he should add to his catalog, and I simply must rely to him the scents in your perfume. The floral notes are obvious, but do I also detect notes of something woodsy?”

While the initial question remained odd, the explanation wasn’t far off from other things you’d heard the Professor say about other alumni, and so you did not think much of it. You wondered, however, what in it had made Sirius turn so suddenly livid.

“Well, if you must know, it’s actually the scent from my shampoo, sir. My muggle aunt makes some for friends and family as a hobby,” you answered as a prelude. “Mine smells of gardenia and sandalwood, actually.”

“Hmm, yes, gardenia and sandalwood, fascinating,” the Professor commented, although he sounded more like someone who had confirmed rather than discovered something. “I should go write it down now, lest I forget later. I suppose your aunt won’t mind?” he asked.

“I don’t think she would, no,” you replied.

“Terrific,” he clapped. “I see you have mastered the art of the scrub already, so I will take my leave now. I will be in my office should either of you need me,” he said, before starting to walk away. “Gardenia and sandalwood, isn’t that just a memorable combination, Mr. Black?” he added, but barely even waited for him to nod back before he left, door shutting behind him.

“That was... odd,” you commented aloud after a few seconds of silence. You searched Sirius’s face for his opinion on the little scene that had just unfolded, but were met with a cool facade of self-control.

“Well, it is Slughorn after all,” he replied matter-of-factly, turning back to his basin. “When isn’t he at least a little odd?”

You shrugged, inclined to agree with him, and got back to work. You were still upset with him, but your earlier outburst had allowed you to cool down a bit, to a point where you weren’t quite willing to hear his excuses yet, but you were done trying to ignore him.

As you worked your way through the grime of the first cauldron, you took the time to ponder silently where you stood. You’d been so inebriated with your budding friendship with Sirius you’d never actually taken the time to consider wether the sum of his impacts on your life was more positive than negative. How embarrassing it would be, really, if it turned out he was nothing more than a drug, and you, the addict, were so taken with the pleasant first stages you’d forgotten all about its fundamentally bad consequences? After all, how many times had you heard the whispers of “Stay away from Black, he’s trouble” over the years? One sure thing was, they weren’t about Regulus.

And so you started doing the math in your head, going back to the very beginning. Had set your robes on fire in the first year; _negative_. Had talked to your brother after only chatting with you for a few minutes; _positive_. Had no qualms being disruptive in the library; _mildly negative, but still_. 

You suppressed a smirk as you recalled the howler prank you’d played on James with him and Remus. How giddy you’d felt when he’d locked eyes with you in the dining hall right after the letter had combusted, his silent applause which had stirred your chest aflutter. _Not applicable_, you decided. 

Then you recalled how he’d been so reckless that night by the kitchens, how he’d drunkenly attempted to kiss you and how your resulting laughter had landed you in hot waters with McGonagall, how it had landed you in detention. _Definitely negative, _you tallied, although your cheeks burned slightly at the memory. 

Next in line was the memory of the ensuing detention itself. It was then he’d discovered you were trying to become an animagus on your own - illegally. He hadn’t threatened to tell anyone, had even trusted you right away with the fact he was one as well. How he’d insisted you not go through your first transformation alone, and how he’d shown up before you even in the owlery on the night of the storm. _Bad influence, good friend_. 

From then on, he’d only been good to you, helping you get used to the animal state. Good up until today. As his words surfaced back in your mind, you knew your anger had transformed. You weren’t mad at him anymore; you were sad. Sad you’d believed him to be so wonderful until he’d been so cruel to Severus. Sad he was still just as prejudiced towards Slytherins even after you’d gotten close.

“You’ve got that look on your face,” he spoke up as he was crossing the classroom to get some vial, passing in front of you on his way back to his workstation.

“What look?” you asked, defensive.

“The one you make when you’re trying to wrap your mind around something,” he clarified. “What are you thinking about?”

“I’m... I’m trying to decide if you’re a bad influence, actually,” you answered carefully.

“How am I doing so far?”

“Pretty fifty-fifty, I’d say,” you said truthfully.

Your reply was met with a dry chuckle. “Yeah, well, that does sound like me.”

Silence filled the room once more, and you decided you were done with your first cauldron. Setting it aside, you grabbed the next one and plunged it underwater. Immediately, you saw the viscous liquid at its bottom dilute into the water, granting it a barely noticeable shimmer. 

As you started scrubbing it, you let your gaze wander to Sirius. His back was facing you, so you could freely stare as you tried to decide what to do of him. Soon enough, a scent you’d grown familiar with spread through the room.

“Good Merlin, Sirius, did you really have to wear so much cologne today?” you asked, your nose flooded with the smell of him. “The whole room already reeks of you.”

He turned around to look at you, puzzled.

“I don’t even wear cologne, what are you talking about?” he replied.

“Yeah, right,” you scoffed.

Before you could add any more, Sirius sprang up and walked towards you, an unreadable expression on his face. Kneeling beside you, he reached to cup some of the basin water in his bare hand and brought it up to his nose. The water was dripping through his fingers and down his forearm, but he didn’t seem to care.

He muttered something inaudible, springing up again, his gaze locked on the basin.

“What?” you asked, utterly puzzled, helping yourself up as well to keep up with him.

“Gardenia and sandalwood,” he whispered, slowly turning to look at you. There was a flame so intense in his eyes it troubled you, so you chose to ignore it.

“Listen, I know my shampoo is very fragrant, but I can assure you whatever smell you’re giving off, it’s much stronger right now,” you told him.

It wasn’t a bad smell, either. Just very... overpowering.

“I can’t believe you haven’t gotten it yet,” he said, his eyes still boring into yours. “Aren’t you supposed to have beat out Remus’s Potions score in the N.E.W.T.S.?”

“Sirius, what are you even on about?” you asked, growing restless by the second.

Wordlessly, he flicked his wand so the basin grew red hot in the span of a few seconds. Almost instantly, the water started evaporating in faint yet discernible smoke volutes. Characteristic, twisting volutes. _Gardenia and Sandalwood. Oh._

“You know what’s going on don’t you?” he asked, cautious, waiting for your reaction.

But you were too petrified to give him one. _Surely you couldn’t be... How had you not...?_

“Y/N, I didn’t mean what I said earlier,” he started, half nervous, half apologetic. “It’s no excuse, but it was a stupid force of habit. I’ve got my own issues, and Severus, he reminds me so much of _them_,” he paused to swallow, ”of my family, that he never fails to bring out the worst in me. And I know now it’s not right, but I just... You were on my mind all day, Y/N. I couldn’t wait to get to you at the end of it, and when he showed up and he turned out to be the reason I almost didn’t find you... I lost it,” he sighed.

“Sirius, I... I...” you started but trailed off, words failing you.

“It’s okay, just let me finish, I’ve still got so much to say” he replied. “I won’t try and bullshit you, tell you I knew back in that first year when James and I nearly set you on fire. I actually still have no idea why we did that, if I’m being completely honest with you. But that first night by the kitchen this year, you might as well have cast a spell on me, I was so... intrigued. And then that other night, remember when I tried to kiss you?”

You nodded, gulping. How could you not?

“Remember how hard we laughed at that? That night I smelled gardenia and sandalwood in the vial of amortentia that was being passed around the Gryffindor common room, but I did not recognize you in it, not yet. But this morning, Slughorn made me brew it, and this time I knew, which is why I nearly _lost my shit_ when you walked into the Hospital Wing, although you might not have noticed-”

“Oh, I did,” you bit your lip, smiling.

“You... you did?” he asked, surprised.

“I know you, by now,” you simply answered, your heart pounding so loud in your chest you would have sworn he could hear it.

“Oh. So anyways, uh, by then I... I....” he trailed off, at loss for words, his eyes trailing down to your lips. 

Immediately, he gave up on finishing his train of thought and his hands went to cup your face, uncharacteristically hesitant, as he leaned down to press his lips against yours. His kiss was tender, imprinted with a longing you wouldn’t have thought him capable of. As you kissed him back, you could have sworn time stood still in the silence of the classroom. His slightly calloused thumb brushed against your cheek, and you wanted to get lost in the smell of him, amplified by the basin at your feet which was still giving off the lazy volutes of its amortentia-infused water.

It was you who broke the kiss, needing to take a moment to breathe and collect yourself. 

“You know,” you told him, panting slightly, “I’m still upset with what happened earlier.”

“Okay,” he replied, breathing heavily as well.

A moment passed and you found yourself grabbing him by the collar, pulling him back to you to kiss him once more, and instantaneously he wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling your body flush against his as your own hands snaked up to the back of his neck, trailing up to run your fingers through his hair, earning you an appreciative groan. 

“I can’t believe I didn’t know how much I’ve been wanting this,” he breathed, breaking the kiss to lift you up so you could sit on the stool right behind you, stepping in between your legs. Resuming the kiss, he bit your lower lip gently, making your back arch so your chest pressed into his. His hands danced on you like his lips did on yours, and you got so caught up in the moment you never heard the door creak open. 

You did both however hear Slughorn’s loud cough, startling you apart violently. As you realized you’d been caught making out with Sirius in detention - _bad influenc_e -, you felt your whole face turn crimson all the way down to your neck. Beside you, Sirius himself looked sheepish.

“Sorry about that Professor, must be something in the air from all the potion residue you’re making us wash,” he attempted, which had you chuckling against your better judgement.

“Uhm yes, I’ll bet the smell of gardenia and, let me remember, sandalwood will do that to a young man,” he replied, thoroughly amused.

His response had your chuckle turn into a strangle cough from startling you so.

“I won’t report this incident, but do get back to work now, yes?” Slughorn ordered, raising an eyebrow.

“Yes, sir,” you replied, avoiding to look at him as you slid down your stool.

“Absolutely,” Sirius grinned.


End file.
